There are many causes of divorce, but the most common reasons for divorce include financial pressures, unrealistic expectations from one or other partner, media pressure and arguments over the upbringing of children. All valid causes of divorce and all actual reasons people divorce, so let's take a look at them in more detail:

Financial pressure are large causes of divorce

Most couples experience financial difficulties, whether short or long term. With financial causes of divorce there may be a clash of ideals, with one partner wishing to 'live now, pay later', while the other prefers to live always within their means without borrowing money.

It often emerges over the decision whether to take a mortgage for house purchase, or whether to spend on an expensive vacation. However, spending on gambling, drinking or compulsive shopping can raise equally thorny causes for divorce.

Usually the couple manages to compromise on financial issues, but in some cases the dispute is severe enough to threaten the relationship. There is no 'right' way to handle money, and each couple will make their own arrangements. Some individuals feel that it is helpful to keep some savings in their own name, however close and involved they are with their partner. This may not imply an intention to separate, and is certainly no reason for divorce - and it may actually make separation less likely because the person feels more secure because of the savings.

Expectations fostered by the media can be causes for divorce

Pressures on the stability of relationships are also felt as a result of media publicity. There is at present a tendency to idealize marriage as an institution and at the same time to attack it. The media is full of stories about the infidelities and separations of celebrities, and their reasons for divorce. There are also regular features on how to improve your relationship, how to achieve a better sex life and how to live a fuller life. This carries the risk that couples who read about these things will look at their own relationship and see more causes of divorce, and conclude that, because it doesn't come up to standard, it is no good and they should separate.

It hardly needs saying that you need to weigh these media pronouncements against your own experience, and not disparage the good things that you have in your own 'good enough' relationship. This is one of the hardest causes of divorce to get to grips with, as it's always plastered across some glossy magazine or other each week. Just because someone writes about it in a magazine (and claims it's one of the common causes of divorce) does not mean it's a reason for divorce in your relationship. Don't be intimidated by the media.